Like many pretentious liberal arts college students, I pride myself on the frequency with which I read a book before seeing its on-screen adaptation. I will never not casually #humblebrag that I read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy during elementary school—yes, before any of the movies were released. That being said, I have not read the books since then and I really don’t think I could again when they are just so dang long, and I might just have to admit to loving the movies so much more. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, please believe me, I’m not that pompous.

But one area in which I have miserably broken my pledge to first read the written word is with Game Of Thrones. I’m sorry. I can’t help it, okay? My excuse is that it was nearing the end of summer when I first got hooked on the television show, and after getting caught up with that there was unfortunately no way that I could finish more than the first book in the series before college started up again. Though I tried to squeeze in time to continue on to the second one during school, I have been stuck at about 200 out of almost 1000 pages. So needless to say, I am a little behind as the TV show continues onto its fourth season. Whoops.

This makes me feel very out of the loop after every new episode airs. Of course, GoT gurus who have already read all of the books multiple times are able to critically analyze and discuss what has been altered or rearranged in the HBO interpretation in comparison to the books, which is something that I very much wish I could be a part of. In some ways, though, maybe it’s better that I can’t scrutinize the show as severely, because that means that my ignorance to what should actually be happening will prevent any decrease in enjoyment I may have had due to the show straying from the intended path of George R.R. Martin.

Obviously, the readers also have the upper hand of knowing more or less exactly what is going to happen, which then presents the issue of potential spoilers to non-readers. This is the greatest problem I have been faced with when trying to discuss the latest episode with my friends who have already read the series. They start to say something, and then cut themselves off with a “Oh, I forgot I can’t mention that! I almost spoiled something huge for you!” and then smile all-knowingly at my innocence and naïveté to which characters are going to be brutally murdered next. I don’t expect to not end up spoiled when the ability to do so is very much available and it’s my own fault that I don’t already know, but I’m still grateful that somehow, despite the internet existing, I managed to not find out the results of the Red Wedding beforehand. “Don’t worry, you’ll see soon enough…” they tell me mysteriously, and I internally kick myself in frustration for not forgoing all of my other school work and obligations to just lock myself in my room and read for the next two weeks.

I have only stopped myself from doing this with the knowledge that summer is right around the corner.